Image © Jose & MidJourney
I am known to be a guy that asks many questions, though my wife may disagree. I am also known for a guy that talks too much, perhaps these two are connected. And I say this in full honesty, not bragging, just recognition of behaviors that define me and, in some cases, hard to change even with awareness and constant work. But in certain contexts, I am known to ask good questions, I listen and wait till the end and then try and ask inquisitive questions that allow others to elaborate, clarify, or dance around when they can’t answer them.
As soon as we start to talk, we start asking questions. These are cutely naive and are a critical part of learning the world. We seem to lose the ability to ask questions as we become more self-aware, with differences between the introvert/ extrovert type. I don’t remember if I asked more questions than your usual kid, I remember my childhood above all as playing outside, perhaps engaging and questioning the world in my head.
Designers have been trained to ask questions, to find the right questions, the ones that address the real problem and not just the symptom. Though there are other professions equally or even better trained to do so, a good designer will have to ask a lot of questions, in ways and using methods that might allow a better understanding of the problem, might allow framing it adequately. Designers have templates and ways of working aimed at interrogating the world, sometimes a sketch is a question. We learn to ask the 5 why’s and we understand that the quality of the answers depend on the quality of the questions. And while designers are also wired to come up with solutions, and many times we fight urge to do so before we ask all the relevant questions.
But this constant focus on inquiry is tiring and limits other faculties. In my case, my question ability many times decreases with my ability to listen, my brain is wired in such a way that as soon as I am listening to something I am posing questions in my brain, and the fact that is dedicating energy in doing so, distracts me from really listening attentively. But unless I find a mechanism to capture my question, I listen carefully and forget all the questions I had. We can address the topic as a question about why we need to have questions, and in many cases posing a question is an exercise of showing off your intellectual prowess, smartness. I used to be much worse, without noticing I was the guy that always had questions. I now ask these questions in my head, I write them up, but many times I don’t ask them. When I ask questions, people qualify them with some sort of adjective, but I don’t need positive reinforcement, when I ask questions is because I am truly interested in the response, even if I might know, or think I know the answer.
Before responding, with some exceptions where speakers really qualify the questions honestly, I get annoyed with the typical preliminary comment of “that’s a XXXXX question”, where the adjective might range from good, great, to interesting (perhaps not…). Some people will not even notice, but they say that to every question asked, which begs the question if there are banal and bad questions, and though some might say “there are no bad questions”, I’ll let you reflect and decide. I understand we need to acknowledge people, but if I hear a speaker saying this more than once, if I have not asked a question that’s my cue to stay silent.
And then you have the questions that are not really questions. You’ve all been in a public presentation and when the time comes for questions & answers, independently if there is a deep silence or if 10 hands are already up, there will always be one or more people that talk, and talk, without a question in site. It’s rare to see a speaker that will interrupt the monologue, but some do so with a simple “what is your question?” or attempt to rephrase and sometimes distill a question that is not even there.
In the series “True Detective: Night Country” the character of Detective Liz Danvers played by Jodie Foster keeps asking, ordering everyone around to “ask the question”, inviting others to dig deep and get to the right question, the true question you should be asking to get the right response. She is focused on uncovering the truth, and in doing so she becomes rather annoying, but I must confess I like the method and mindset of getting to good questions.